He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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