dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
