He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
