What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
