I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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