In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
