bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
