I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
