hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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