Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
