so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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