Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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