she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
