Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i out mim tonsoeep
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
