Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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