Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
