I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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