I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
