Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
