So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
