i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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