the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
