what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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