Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
