Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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