Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I pour the whiskey from now on
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
