2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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