I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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