Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
