i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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