Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
