Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
