You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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