You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
