it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
