Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
