people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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