Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
