Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
