You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
