THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
