Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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