Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
