Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
