I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i need some magic done to my vagina
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
