Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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