Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
