i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
