is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
