playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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